Last night, I received a texted email from the great, Manfred Dunforth, my mentor (and roommate STILL!!!) asking if I had seen a video for La Quintana hotel. So I went to an internet and found this commercial!
After watching it, I wanted to punch Advertising!!!?
BUT, I will admit, a part of me felt an odd warmth. The kind of warmth that feels like the kind of pride you feel when you realize that your immense wisdom has permeated another human being’s brain and has caused powerful life-changing action. I was very conflicted.
So, FIRST: I want to commend and congratulate the authors of this work on it’s power. You came to the right place to find incredible and fresh ideas focused mostly on business–THANK YOU. ALSO, strangely enough, this glasses strategy is one that I actually invented as a young Biztern™ at Yankton Fish Camp, LLC.
I have used this with immense success in my storied past. (Although, if I’m honest, it hasn’t worked for me since the 90’s while I was heavily pitching a “business tank top” line of casual Friday wear. Not sure if those two things have any bearing on each other. PROBABLY NOT.
Back to the issue at hand.
• I AM ANGRY: I am terribly upset that such a successful Spanish-themed hotel chain has chosen to use my INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY to thrust themselves into a new area of growth opportunity without so much as a ring on my new rotary phone.
• I NEED SOME CREDIT: I encourage my fans GLOBALLY to rally around this gross miscarriage of wisdom and call this Spanish hotel (1 800 SLEEPLQ) until they APOLOGIZE and give me FULL CREDIT for this latest advertising platform.
Below I will offer a few suggestions for La Quinta Inns and Suites as they seek to build bridges once again with myself and the larger business strategy community. (Feel free to add any other ideas in the comments!)
• An envelope containing 30,000 dollars handed to me at a secret, Spanish-themed location to be determined by myself and my mentor Manfred Dunforth.
• An oversized cake with my picture on it, in the lobby of La Quinta Inn’s corporate headquarters containing the words: “Great Idea!” written in golden fondant.
• A sincere, unironic videographed apology from CEO, Keith Cline.
Thank you for you time and continued support. (BUT NOT YOU, La Quinta Inn and Suites!)